I’m turning twenty-one in the coming weeks. I know, someone get the violins. As life has given me the horror movie style jump scare into reality, I’ve begun to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
My Father’s Mother is… well… let’s just say there’s no question regarding where I inherited my ‘crazy’. I hear wacky stories about my Gran all the time. Just recently I went to visit. I got in the car, blissfully unaware I’d be sharing the backseat with a rocking horse. And not a small rocking horse at that. When I asked for an explanation, what I got was;
“I haven’t figured out what to call him yet but he keeps moving on the floor so he’s no good for the kids.”
What?! That’s what I had to work with. Like the refined conversationalist I am, I managed to navigate the discussion towards something completely different. My Gran is quite the unique specimen and I’ll share some of her antics (in list format of course).
- She once needed to determine the quality of an egg, so she threw it off the side of a boat. It sank.
- She once left me in a car without the handbrake on and I slowly rolled down the hill as I re-evaluated all my life decisions.
- One night, I asked for some light reading and she mistakenly left Homer’s ‘The Oddessy’ on my nightstand.
Do your own thing.
Prejudice is something that is far too common in today’s society. I travelled first class for only the second time in my life. I was returning to London after visiting my Mother in the country and I treated myself to a first class seat. Payday had just passed and I’d been working a lot. The carriage was filled with businessmen and older couples who sat with their laptops and classic novels. As I sat, earphones quietly playing
some random crap probably, eagerly awaiting my first class promised sandwich, I overheard two women sat adjacent to me, commenting on my rather scuffed converse shoes. I’ll just say, the comments were less than nice. So, I did what any self-respecting human being would’ve done, I reached into my non-designer bag and pulled out my Uncanny Xmen issue #129 (first appearance of Kitty Pryde, in case anyone was wondering). I began reading and only took a brief pause to glance across to the two women and drop then a quick ‘yeah, that’s right’ smirk.
Be honest and own up to your mistakes.
My Grandma once told me a story;
I used to be a wages distributor for an office company.
One day I miscalculated by two pence and overpaid a gentleman employee. I confessed to my boss straight away who respected that fact I’d owned up to my mistake. He went on to tell me it was my responsibility to reclaim the two pence from the gentleman I’d overpaid. When I told my co-workers, they all had something to say about the man.
“He’s a piece of work” they’d say.
So, I went to the man’s office and explained the situation. I asked him to return the two pence he’d been overpaid.
“If I give you two jam jars, will that equate to the two pence I owe?”
“If I can sell them for a penny each, then yes.”
The man then demanded I leave. I didn’t want to kick up a fuss. Later that day, I was updating my boss on the developments when the doors of the office swung open. It ws the man and he yelled..
“Where’s the jam jar lady?”
I raised my hand and he sauntered over. He handed me the two pence and asked me out to lunch.”
In case there was any doubt, here is the nameless rocking horse who’s just ‘no good for the kids’;